Ultrastupidity Trials To Start This Fall
By Robert Breckenridge
Due to the tremendous success of Superstupidity last year, Ultrastupidity trials are set to begin this fall.
“Success is a relative term here,” city councilman Winston Balderdash said. “We’ve been prepping the city power grid, telephone system, and water supply for the trials in August.”
Ultrastupidity builds on superstupidity’s practice of feigning ignorance by pretending one’s head lacks a brain. Local businesses, already harried by the impact of superstupidity, are definitely concerned about what ultrastupidity will do.
“We’ve been trying to step up basic security like smoke and fire sensors to get ready for ultrastupidity,” said Bill Garrote of Flume’s Fashions. “But with superstupidity still in effect, it’s hard to get work done because when the workers get here, they forget why they’re here. You know, I can’t really remember why we were trying to do that in the first place. Say, where’s the bathroom?”
If ultrastupidity is successful, it’s unclear what benefit it will have to the city. “Laws, morals, and basic common sense will probably have little meaning,” Balderdash said.
Real estate and market gurus are telling everybody who doesn’t already live here to get the hell out while there’s still time.
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