Superstupidity Infects Metropolis
By Robert Breckenridge
In a move that has Wall Street and the local real estate market flustered, local citizens are practicing what newspapers are calling “superstupidity,” the practice of feigning ignorance. Examples of this behavior include people continually asking directions to the restroom and how to operate the paper shredder. Full bladders are the order of the day and shoving a piece of paper into a slot requires additional instructions.
Superstupidity is taking its toll in the service industries as well - tow truck drivers are overwhelmed as the city streets are littered with cars out of gas. City Power officials say that the grid is teetering on the brink of disaster as every refrigerator door is left open and stove burner turned on. Air conditioners and heaters fight to cancel each other out.
Alzheimer’s patients are being discharged from local facilities with clean bills of health as no one can remember why they’re there.
I don’t know where the bathroom is, so I just wet my pants.
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