Local Man Seriously Injured by a Near-Fatal Endorphin Overdose
By Robert Breckenridge
Emergency response dispatchers were alerted by residents of an apartment complex that loud crashing sounds and hysterical laughter were coming from one of the units there. Police and emergency medical personnel arriving on the scene were aghast at the situation. A 45 year old male was nearly comatose on the floor after overdosing on endorphins.
Police were unable to locate any of the drug remaining in the apartment to enter into evidence. They did, however, find a computer whose web browser was showing a website with humorous articles on it. “Endorphin exposure can be caused by reading funny or mirthful stories,” officer Dan Hossifer said. Medical personnel treated the man, whose name has not been released, for two broken ribs at a nearby hospital.
“Endorphin overdose is a very serious condition because it is extremely addictive,” Dr. Peter Ficken at Mercy Hospital told reporters. “The effect wears off quickly, requiring more and heavier doses with each exposure.” The reporters began to smirk at the doctor. Flustered, the doctor stammered, “This is no laughing matter.”
Michael Breckenridge contributed to this story.
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