Hurricane Futures Market Waiting For The Next Big One
Robert Breckenridge
Futures traders on Wall Street are waiting anxiously for next year’s hurricane crop. Buoyed by the unheard-of successes of Katrina and Rita, every moron is tossing his lunch money into the market, hoping to cash in big next hurricane season.
Meteorological experts at the Department of Agriculture are expressing doubt about the likelihood of an even bigger crop next year. “Bumper crops do not happen two years in a row. It’s just not going to happen,” said USDA Spokesperson George Schmecklebuster.
Commodities guru Daniel Coppershiner of the Mooncopper-Coppershiner-Shinerpenny Investments Group said that if Schmecklebuster was “really right about the crop next year then that means there’s going to be a lot of people having to come up with the extra hurricane to pay off the short call.”
In the event that the crop falls short of expectations, it’s likely to impact other related industries such as oil, casino gaming, and trailer parks.
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