Man Tired Of Walking Steals Steamroller
By Michael Breckenridge
LOS ANGELES - A local man stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase through city streets. “I was tired of walking,” he said. An officer boarded the lumbering juggernaut and ground it to a halt.
The theft had been spotted by a group of kids in their mystery van. Fred, Daphne, Wilma and Shaggy noticed the man was not wearing a hard hat and realized the steamroller was stolen from the nearby construction site. Their dog called police but no one could understand him. He handed the phone to Shaggy.
“Like, there’s this crazy coot carousing on a commandeered Caterpillar,” he said.
“Curses!” The bad guy said to the officers. “I was just steamrolling along until those pesky kids interfered!”
