KYLE-AM .. Kyle In The Morning

By Robert Breckenridge

MANITOBA - A domestic dispute turned into an international spectacle today after two people carried their fight outdoors, and were then pursued by police.

The couple were chased onto a frozen lake where they began to circle around the edge. The pursuing officers followed, but instead of the quarry exiting the far side of the lake, they simply kept going around the edge of lake in a circle. Police called for backup.

The shouting attracted crowds of people. Determined not to get caught, the fugitives continued circling the lake with the police not far behind. This lasted nearly fourteen hours which gave bystanders time to set up bleachers, an announcer with PA system, and Olympic ice skating gold medalists Scott Hamilton and Suzy Chaffee to fly in and give commentary.

The chase ended promptly when the lake melted and everyone plunged into the water. Canadian Mounted Scuba Divers arrested the two fugitives.

It was later released that they were simply arguing over whose turn it was to wash dishes. Scott and Suzy added little to the moment as they had their own spate over who would speak first into the microphone.

Michael Breckenridge contributed to this story.

By Robert Breckenridge

SHERBROOKE, NOVA SCOTIA - Disaster struck the maple syrup pipeline that links Canada to Sweden early this morning at 3:14 am Maple Syrup Time (MST), cutting off the supply and severely affecting the morning breakfast in that Northern European country.

The pipeline was designed with pressure valves and safety cutoffs all along its length so as to prevent further damage from occurring. Canadian officials estimated a mid-morning solution to the problem. Radio news programs advised businesses and schools to expect late arrivals as families waited for the maple taps to resume flowing.

Lights came on in the parliamentary buildings in both countries as soon they received word that the pipeline had broken. Canadian and Swedish officials immediately dispatched Royal Navy repair crews to get the pipeline working as soon as possible.

Swedes sporting cloth napkin bibs, a fork in one hand and a spoon in the other and staring with quiet forlorn at one another at breakfast tables all across the frozen country hoped the Canadians would work quickly so they could enjoy their hotcakes and crepes in their time-honored fashion.

Michael Breckenridge contributed to this story.